Sophisticated and cultured as we may be, as human beings we still house primitive urges: self-preservation (fight or flight) and self-propagation (the sexual urge) among them.

 

These base urges can be disruptive. They can trigger and carry us into behavior that is alien to how we view ourselves and want to be viewed by others.

 

A common response to this is a determined attempt at self-discipline.

 

But often, this amounts to a mere suppression of urges. If we succeed at suppression, we risk developing more rigid personalities. If we fail, we risk acting-out our urges destructively.

 

Discipline by suppression needs to be traded in for the discipline of “inner work.” This includes the development of personal insight and the acceptance of our darker sides. We then become free to work responsibly with those aspects of ourselves that our former attempts at suppression only made more unruly.