Updated: May 22, 2019
Marriage takes a lot of work to maintain a healthy, balanced, and stable relationship. With kids, careers, and social lives, it can be tough to manage on your own. Marriage counseling can help find solutions to several issues and open up the lines of communication to enhance your relationship. While divorce may be the best choice for some, others may wish to try to salvage their marriage. When married couples encounter issues, it can be overwhelming and stressful. Here are 8 signs that you and your spouse should seek marriage counseling.
1. Negative communication
Communication is the foundation of a successful relationship. It's essential to communicate effectively, so you and your partner understand each other. Negative communication can include anything that makes your partner feel discouraged, insecure, disregarded, or defensive. If negative communication becomes a regular occurrence, a marriage counselor may be able to act as a mediator and help improve the tone of the conversation.
2. Infidelity & trust issues
Trust issues are one of the major problems that drive a wedge between couples. Trust is vital in marriages. Without trust, issues can arise and leave one person in doubt or insecure, which can boil into larger problems of resentment. Whether you are contemplating an affair or have already cheated on your partner, these issues need to be approached to salvage your marriage. If both people are committed to the marriage counseling process and are being honest, that opens the doors to save the union.
3. Unable to resolve problems
If you find yourself unable to resolve issues within your marriage, it might be the right time to seek out an unbiased third party. If you find yourself in the same argument over and over again but are unable to come to a resolution between the two of you, that's a sign of communication issues. A marriage counselor can determine what the major obstacle is and how to overcome it.
4. Lack of intimacy
While many issues can come to light in a marriage, one of the most glaring issues is intimacy. It can be a noticeable change in behavior that can cause an emotional detachment. Whether differences, boredom, or emotional disconnection that leads to no desire to be intimate, marriage counseling may be able to help.
5. Emotional detachment
It can be disheartening to feel like you and your partner are not as close as you once were. If you feel as if you merely “co-exist,” this may be an indication that counseling may be a good idea. Couples crave to feel bonded, and when that doesn't happen, it can feel frustrating.
6. Financial conflict
Financial issues can also put a heavy strain on a marriage. Often, couples may feel the weight of the financial burden, and that can lead to larger arguments and resentment. Unresolved differences in spending and saving, choices to spend money on, an unequal division of finances, etc. can further the space between couples, which will cause more conflict. A marriage counselor can help work these issues out and try to find some common ground.
7. Imbalance of responsibilities
If you feel that your relationship is heavily one-sided regarding responsibilities, it may be an excellent time to seek out help. It can be incredibly stressful to take the weight of the world on your shoulders. A marriage is a partnership, and for it to be a successful one, there needs to be a healthy balance.
If you and your partner are at your wit's end and you're unsure of what else to do, seek a professional. There may be solutions you're unaware of and how to overcome an issue appropriately. A counselor acts as a mediator and a mirror to help realize what the major concerns on and how to communicate your needs effectively. Not every marriage can be saved, but with commitment and honesty, most can.
Marriage can have many levels of intimacy and communication, and we all have our love languages. With dedication, openness, and communication, issues can be resolved. Willingness to learn, chance, and adapt will help the process along and rejuvenate your relationship if so desired. If you see any of the signs mentioned above occurring in your relationship, marriage counseling may be the right choice for you.